


Mistakes are the Portals of Discovery

by rosewiththorns



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Detroit Red Wings, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Kneeling, Kneeling Universe, M/M, Mistakes, Non-Sexual Submission, mentoring
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-16
Updated: 2015-12-16
Packaged: 2018-05-07 03:18:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5441519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosewiththorns/pseuds/rosewiththorns
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gus is afraid to make mistakes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mistakes are the Portals of Discovery

**Author's Note:**

> Written per reader request. Set during one of Gus' call-ups from the AHL.

“Mistakes are the portals of discovery.”—James Joyce

Mistakes are the Portals of Discovery

Nik waited until he and Gus, who looked as if he had just seen a ghost or recently joined their ranks, were alone in the locker room before speaking. After the door had shut behind their last teammate, he pointed at the floor in front of his stall and ordered in a mild tone that made it barely more than a suggestion, “Kneel for me, kid.” 

Gus practically collapsed to his knees before Nik, who was tempted to pull out the smelling salts to revive him before he fainted. Opting instead for physical comfort, he combed his fingers through Gus’ damp blonde hair and soothed, “It’s okay, Gus. Talk to me.” 

Unfortunately, Gus appeared to be trapped in a bleak state beyond speech. Seesawing back and forth on his heels, he emitted dull, whimpers from deep within his throat. The sound echoing off the walls reminded Nik of keening mourners at a funeral, and he winced as if he had just heard a noise more agonizing than nails scratched against a chalkboard. 

“It’ll be better if you just open up and tell me what’s wrong.” Nik cupped Gus’ cheeks between his palms and urged Gus’ face up until Gus’ teary eyes fixed on his own. 

“I made a mistake.” Every syllable torn from Gus’ trembling lips was accompanied by a shiver that rippled the length of his body. 

“A mistake isn’t the end of the world.” Despite his words, Nik remembered how, during his call- ups from the AHL it had felt like every error could be the death knell for his NHL aspirations. Clutching Gus’ shoulders bracingly and feeling the utmost compassion not only for the young man kneeling before him but also for the one he had once been himself, Nik went on, “It might seem like it is when Babs is yelling at you, but just remember that deep down he has to know that he wouldn’t have a job if we didn’t make mistakes.” 

“It’s not Babs I’m afraid of.” Gus tucked his lower lip beneath his teeth. When Nik snorted skeptically, he added, “I mean, he scares me shitless most of the time, but it’s not him I’m most afraid of, Kronner.” 

“Who is it, then?” Nik’s forehead furrowed. 

“You.” Gus tried to bury his face in Nik’s knee but found it caught by Nik’s hands. 

“Why are you afraid of me?” With a thumb, Nik traced the outline of Gus’ quaking jaw. 

“I’m afraid of what you’ll think of me if I make mistakes.” Gus’ face was so flushed that Nik was concerned about burning his fingers. 

“Don’t be silly, kid.” Tapping Gus’ chin, Nik attempted to coax a smile out of his rattled rookie with a riddle. “In all my years as a Red Wing, do you know what I made?” 

“No.” Baffled, Gus only seemed more terrified. 

“A lot of mistakes.” Nik ruffled Gus’ hair. 

“But you still could hate me for my mistakes.” As though he were drowning, Gus grabbed Nik’s knees in a vise-grip.

“Gustav Nyquist.” Nik gave Gus’ shoulders a sharp shake, drawing a gasp from Gus. “I could never hate you even for things you do wrong on purpose, nonetheless for things you do wrong by accident. I care about you like a father does, all right?” 

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” muttered Gus, staring at the tiles beneath his kneecaps. “Whenever I screw up, Pappa gets so cold with me that I can feel a bit of his love for me dying, never to return, and to be replaced by anger and resentment. I’m scared it will be the same way with you where I don’t want to mess up, but I do anyway, and you keep hating me more every time I botch something.” 

“That won’t happen with me.” Nik wanted to travel directly to Sweden and tell Gus’ father what he thought of his parenting abilities, but that wasn’t possible, so he swept the sweaty hair that had been sticking to Gus’ forehead as if glued away from his eyes and bent to brush a kiss on the freshly exposed flesh. “If you make a mistake, we might talk about it, but not because I’m mad, just because I care about you and want to help you not repeat stuff you did wrong. If you do something wrong on purpose, then I’ll have to discipline you, but I’ll still care about you when I discipline you and when I’m done disciplining you. I’m not saying I’ll never get angry or stern with you, but I am promising that I’ll always care about you. Got it, squirt?” 

Cocking his head, Gus contemplated this for a long moment, and then murmured, “I think so. It’ll take some getting used to, but I think so.”

“Good.” Nik patted Gus on the back between his shoulder blades, which were finally relaxing. “I care about you, Gus. Make no mistake about that, although if you do I’ll still be here to correct you and care about you.”


End file.
